Thursday, 20 June 2013


Hallucinating in bold lines, crisp clean precision - definition halo glow street lamps - yellow - inflated pupils, pissing upon a wall in a stream of red. My first time viewing the world in cartoonish glamor, I was fifteen. Horrific visions, beautiful hyped in euphoria and night. Like a horror film, but not. A sour apple taste of existence filled me with joy. We closed are eyes in another stream of endless animation - thoughts and visions not yet pinned with names. The knee bucking sobs where weeks away..enjoy the here in now. Gummy thoughts rinsed with crystal clarity, each one overwhelmed by the next. Pure joy.

Plastic inflated cartoon cars sped by. My friend morphed into a pixel Noid benefits of a '32-bit' weekend. Black arch dodgems dance like a spastic stroke...What where...Where's Wally - Mickey Mouse, Dex, Mitsubishi stamped speckled pills black and white toons drooling ink now...Warm flow of Love. First Love. I regarded with a smile the most ineffable images I had ever seen – dead boy portions nightmares made beautiful. All illusion - penny dreadful: Fun.

A warm glow of relentless elation. Dysphoria synthesized with dead flat terror was still a year away...So lets stay in the here and now and enjoy eh? Wrong very righty wrong. Black disks - Mitsubishi, Flatliners, Burger Kings, Speckled bitter blue-dust, all nonsense now. Just fifteen year old boy. 


  1. A great piece of writing Cal. I always loved E and did loads when I was younger - not so clever for a manic depressive. I still miss it though. Your writing brought it all back.