i re-wrap the wrap, a line, i savour. Bitter taste familiar nostalgic drip, this situation will not cease soon. Something in my genes. Something at 4 am - nervous synapses snaps, anaemic blue. i blame dad, dog, god also – i crave. Unadulterated. Ha! Not quite, 7% if that. Nosebleeds, grinding teeth, etc. A Syphilitic lizard with sour solutions, preaching Divine deviant behaviours - Pornography limitless. Euphoria terminal - fading fast, dysphoria follow. A longer line. Happiness dug up. Consuming, all-consuming cliché - Addiction always, terminal recurrence too. Hyper-psycho consumptive. A line. Another & another. Alcohol: Cocaethylene, toxic. Gelatin, white of my eyes - fried pink. Internal monologue: obsessive self-analysis, ad-nauseam. Lockjaw & a whole host of involuntary tics - paranoiac fear follows. Unable to free one's self from compulsion etc. ... Soul: in chaotic disintegration. Line ... Dysfunctional years governs my character. Line. Chop, chop. 24 hours & pathologically blank. Line. Another. The repetitive ritual - porn-driven (to a disgusting ridiculous degree) - Line. Sad. Emotionally dead, cut-adrift, dissociation, etc. i do another - Happiness follows, dysphoria in the post, fleeting neurotic bliss ... Disgusting bliss.
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