Friday, 14 April 2017

Obsessive Complications 10

The Cosmos, pinprick stars. Black. I stumble out, a righteous sense. The words that follow, I, this point in time. 04:06 am. Lithium, Wormwood, Cocaine, 4-Methylmethylphenidate, Ketamin & other poisons. Wisdom teeth sprouting, an abscess & a grey hair. … Consciousness (a sickness,) it separates slowly from the unconscious (filth repressed) & so all proceeds into deepest darkness. Ego (Me. I, Always, It), super-ego (racist, right-wing, tory, homophobe, misogynistic, abusive: Father) the id (infantile, pervert, magic, spirit, soul, scatological, imagination, madness, laughter, innocence, primitive, animism, demonic). Drove out, expelled, banished. Woe to him! I rejoice in ritual … A listless sexual drive of an 80-year-old, Vicar of Christ. So, therefore, miserable, misanthropic with nihilistic tendencies. I detest nature, children, poetry, music, democracy & the liberal arts. I Love, tower-blocks, council houses, asbestos, bricks, concrete & plastic. I'm a thorough troglodyte, hermit, recluse, loner etc. Weirdos, creeps, losers etc., I have attained their level, nothing less! A dogmatic Uber-Nihil Inbred – a self-regarding consumer slave/Lumpen-proletariat – Trash-man. I sometimes write too (if only concerning one's self/ego) ... IObsessidipus!” (my portmanteau). Soul still intact. A former practitioner of ecstatic drug ritual, sex magick & self-mutilation (радéния). I like words, my favourite: CUNT … 03:23 am (& if you're still reading this, well done!). 3,333.3. I don't like 4, 5 or 6 … I like the lunacy of silver moon's, terrestrial stars, White Dwarfs & celestial lights. ... Therapeutic Therapy in Syntax, it helps, a string of words (yes, self-absorbed, pity drivel) but it helps (couch, rat-man, little Hans, the professor, $$$, not needed) 05:01 am … A Pointless Biographical List: 31 years old, male, pathophysiological shyness, unemployed, 1985, library card carrier, OCD suffer, bibliophile, UFO enthusiasts, narcissi, Oedipus, amphetamine addict, alcoholic, cartoonist, dowser, “Special Needs” student, dyslexic, masochist, sadist, Shih Tzu lover, Jewish mystic, sarcastic bore, delusional, a benefits cheat, communist, occultist, fool, believer, unbeliever, with firm belief in nothing, egotistical brat, selfish, pervert, low-life & so on & so forth. … So Finally!: a Neurotic Mancunian Degenerate Primate, with artistic pretensions & problems. … 03:27 am, & a vainglorious member of the Inhuman Race. 

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