Saturday, 26 January 2013

First Night

I shall twist a noose out of my bed sheets and hang myself with it, I thought.
But where to loop the loop to top myself, the thoughts superficial, tiresome enclosed in bland maroon lacquer. Stretched out again, yes again, on a white fireproof sponge slab bolted to the floor, brown patches of blood on the sheets mine own. My thoughts entangled angry indignation under a slight narcissistic sedation, I cried.

Blue honey comb sheets cover the window letting in a little humid air. The heavy door opens every hour a friendly nurse pokes her head through, I pretend to sleep. The place would be heavenly if wasn't for them voices in my head, and the lazy dragging hours. Boredom. Reluctant memories. Not knowing what or where.

A paranoiac sink stares sardonically before light goes out leaving me in darkness. I lie an listen to the hollow drip from the aforementioned sink, I clasp my head and begin to try to untangle my thoughts straighten them out painfully.
I piss into the sink rather than leave the room, tragically lazy in my thin pajamas. Ridiculously comic. Pale Blue.

Night falls and the walls close in on an awful silence, outside I crave to hear a noise to let me know there is life out there and that I was still part off it and wasn't entirely alone, as them voices in my head would have me believe, sleep finally swallowed me up. I woke to a chiming door bell. Medication, a friendly nurse, and a full day to dwell on my dull mawkish regrets.

No comments:

Post a Comment